The question rang in the air like the shrilling of a school bell in a classroom of kids waiting to be released from their confined space. I had prepared myself for this question from my son before my husband died, but I didn't expect it at four years old. I had prepared in my mind an in depth discussion of eternity and death, but I hadn't prepared for a four year old mind to blurt it out right before bedtime. What do you say?
I said, "Well, daddy is in heaven with Jesus, and he's having fun and just a good ole time with Jesus." Ryan replied, "Oh, okay!" I then showed him a picture of his dad, which he was happy to see, then he went on babbling about something else.
After Ryan went to sleep, I replayed the conversation over and over in my head. What came out of my mouth was NOTHING like I had planned, wasn't even my own thoughts, yet it was exactly what Ryan's four year old mind and heart needed to hear. I had peace about the conversation, but didn't understand it. Then God revealed something to me, one of the reasons why Ryan doesn't have a dad at this time in his life. God wants to plant a strong pull to eternity in his heart right now, not later. His desire for Ryan is to live for eternity at the earliest age possible, and my prayer is that Ryan takes hold of that early in life and not take eternity for granted.
Psalm 116:15 - Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
This is probably one scripture I won't understand in its fullness until my own homegoing to heaven, but I believe there are numerous reasons why the death of the saints are precious to the Lord. Besides these people being forever with the Lord after death, I believe Jesus uses the experience of loss and grief over a saint's death to draw others to focus their attention to eternity and less on their time here on earth. We were not made for death; rather, we were made for eternity.
God gives us exactly what we need, even if what we need is challenging and downright painful. I was still struggling in my mind with the conversation I had with Ryan, when I listened to a podcast by John and Lisa Bevere. In this podcast, Lisa describes losing her father, and she shared something God told her that helped prepare her for her father's death. This is what God told her: "The pull of eternity exceeds the bondage of earth."
The draw to eternity will one day, for every single person, break the bondage of earth. When the bondage of the world is broken, we will no longer be bound by sickness, by time, by oppression, by guilt, by sin, by whatever you struggle with or by whatever confines you. Far too often have I taken eternity for granted, and more often than not have I lived for the world and not for my Lord. We will be drawn to our eternal home forever one day, and I want my permanent desire to be consumed with eternity and awakening others to the pull of eternity.
What a heart tugging yet beautiful story! I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for this glimpse into eternity. A gentle yet thought provoking reminder for all of us! We must embrace and look forward to that day when we meet Jesus face to face. The day we'll see our loved ones again! Thanks for sharing this story of heartache and healing.
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Dietrich Schaefer
8/5/2017 12:25:45 am
Thank you so much for responding! I love to hear thoughts on my posts!
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My name is Dietrich Schaefer, and this blog is about my personal journey from grieving the losses in my life to thriving in the new life that is in front of me.