There are several things that I've hesitated to share, because I have to be guarded. When I say certain things or share certain beliefs, I don't always get a positive reaction. But I don't do this for the reaction...I share as I feel led to by the Lord. The next couple of posts will be things that I don't want to share, but that need to be shared and said for the benefit of you, the reader, to grow in your faith in Jesus. So, here we go.......
Miraculous healing. The kind of healing where there is no other explanation other than God showed up and showed out. I prayed for years for a miraculous healing for my husband, for all of his pain and suffering to be wiped away in an instant, for his immune system to work the way it should, for his cirrhosis to disappear, for the osteoporosis to be reversed......I could go on and on. I fasted for a year, took communion together with my husband in our home, laid hands on my husband umpteen times.....again I could go on and on. But he just seemed to get worse. I never gave up on healing, but I began to wonder, what is the point in all of this pain and suffering? I believed God heard me the first time I prayed, the year I fasted, the times I laid hands on my husband, so why wasn't he being healed? What's the point of bringing my husband to the brink of death?
The death of my husband has left me with more questions than answers, but I am at peace with not having my questions answered because God is God. He sees the big picture, while I see a very small part of it. His ways are higher than mine, His thoughts are deeper than mine, and His love is stronger than mine. As I've drawn close to Jesus since losing my husband, I've learned that miraculous healing is not the only solution.
I often think about the people Jesus healed in the Bible. What happened to those people after Jesus ascended to heaven? We don't know, but at some point they all died. I wonder what their loved ones thought after they died. I wonder if they thought, "If Jesus was still here, He would fix this in an instant and take away this heartbreak?"
Miraculous healing is not the only answer to a health problem, and it's not the only way God works. If it was the only way, then miraculous healing would happen every single time the body of Christ prayed and stepped out in faith. As the body of Christ, we have to be open to God having His way in our lives, especially when it comes to pain, suffering, and heartbreak. We have to be open to allowing God to shatter our ideas of His ways and His thoughts, and open to Him changing the course of our lives.
Another thing that led me to question all of this was what happened before and after my husband died. Before my husband died, different people would pray for us, and specifically prayed for a miraculous healing. After Mark died, they disappeared. I don't know why they disappeared, but I can imagine that part of it was because that miraculous healing didn't come. I needed those same people after my husband died, but they were gone. When God doesn't make sense, it scares people. They pull away from Him or pull away from the situation that makes them uncomfortable. We should do the opposite in those moments......we should draw near to God, and reach out in love in the questionable and uncomfortable moments.
Know that if you ask me to pray for you, especially in a situation like this, I always pray for miraculous healing. But don't be closed minded to different paths God may want you to walk outside of the miraculous healing. God is not a cookie cutter God, and He doesn't do the same thing in every situation. The apostle Paul said that we must have fellowship in Christ's suffering. God could have fixed this broken world in a split second, but He chose to suffer for us because He has a wreckless love for us. He wants us to be His love, His bright lights in dark places. So many people want the fire of God, but they don't want the dark places, the pain or suffering to get the fire. To be that bright light, you have to go through the darkness. You will never know how bright the love of Jesus shines in you if you avoid the dark moments.
Miraculous healing. The kind of healing where there is no other explanation other than God showed up and showed out. I prayed for years for a miraculous healing for my husband, for all of his pain and suffering to be wiped away in an instant, for his immune system to work the way it should, for his cirrhosis to disappear, for the osteoporosis to be reversed......I could go on and on. I fasted for a year, took communion together with my husband in our home, laid hands on my husband umpteen times.....again I could go on and on. But he just seemed to get worse. I never gave up on healing, but I began to wonder, what is the point in all of this pain and suffering? I believed God heard me the first time I prayed, the year I fasted, the times I laid hands on my husband, so why wasn't he being healed? What's the point of bringing my husband to the brink of death?
The death of my husband has left me with more questions than answers, but I am at peace with not having my questions answered because God is God. He sees the big picture, while I see a very small part of it. His ways are higher than mine, His thoughts are deeper than mine, and His love is stronger than mine. As I've drawn close to Jesus since losing my husband, I've learned that miraculous healing is not the only solution.
I often think about the people Jesus healed in the Bible. What happened to those people after Jesus ascended to heaven? We don't know, but at some point they all died. I wonder what their loved ones thought after they died. I wonder if they thought, "If Jesus was still here, He would fix this in an instant and take away this heartbreak?"
Miraculous healing is not the only answer to a health problem, and it's not the only way God works. If it was the only way, then miraculous healing would happen every single time the body of Christ prayed and stepped out in faith. As the body of Christ, we have to be open to God having His way in our lives, especially when it comes to pain, suffering, and heartbreak. We have to be open to allowing God to shatter our ideas of His ways and His thoughts, and open to Him changing the course of our lives.
Another thing that led me to question all of this was what happened before and after my husband died. Before my husband died, different people would pray for us, and specifically prayed for a miraculous healing. After Mark died, they disappeared. I don't know why they disappeared, but I can imagine that part of it was because that miraculous healing didn't come. I needed those same people after my husband died, but they were gone. When God doesn't make sense, it scares people. They pull away from Him or pull away from the situation that makes them uncomfortable. We should do the opposite in those moments......we should draw near to God, and reach out in love in the questionable and uncomfortable moments.
Know that if you ask me to pray for you, especially in a situation like this, I always pray for miraculous healing. But don't be closed minded to different paths God may want you to walk outside of the miraculous healing. God is not a cookie cutter God, and He doesn't do the same thing in every situation. The apostle Paul said that we must have fellowship in Christ's suffering. God could have fixed this broken world in a split second, but He chose to suffer for us because He has a wreckless love for us. He wants us to be His love, His bright lights in dark places. So many people want the fire of God, but they don't want the dark places, the pain or suffering to get the fire. To be that bright light, you have to go through the darkness. You will never know how bright the love of Jesus shines in you if you avoid the dark moments.