Thursday will be 2 years that Mark has been gone. Looking back on those 2 years, this is the question that comes to mind: Does God fail?
My first year without Mark left me angry and bitter at God. I stood on my faith in Jesus that my husband would be healed, and he died. Where's God in that? I watched my husband suffer for several years, and then God takes him from me right after our son was born. Where's the goodness of God in that?
So where is God and his goodness? It's right there in those broken places, in our questions of his faithfulness and goodness, and in our mental and emotional exhaustion when we try to figure him out and come up with nothing. He does not want us to suffer, but he allows pain, suffering, and disappointments because this broken world and our broken lives are not all there is. He allows bad things to happen because Jesus suffered for every single one of us on the cross, and we can have a deeper and stronger relationship with him when we trust him and love him anyway despite our pain, suffering and disappointments.
God doesn't fail, and he is just as faithful and just as good when things fall apart.
My first year without Mark left me angry and bitter at God. I stood on my faith in Jesus that my husband would be healed, and he died. Where's God in that? I watched my husband suffer for several years, and then God takes him from me right after our son was born. Where's the goodness of God in that?
So where is God and his goodness? It's right there in those broken places, in our questions of his faithfulness and goodness, and in our mental and emotional exhaustion when we try to figure him out and come up with nothing. He does not want us to suffer, but he allows pain, suffering, and disappointments because this broken world and our broken lives are not all there is. He allows bad things to happen because Jesus suffered for every single one of us on the cross, and we can have a deeper and stronger relationship with him when we trust him and love him anyway despite our pain, suffering and disappointments.
God doesn't fail, and he is just as faithful and just as good when things fall apart.